Children suffer during a divorce. However much their parents try to ensure they don’t, some suffering is inevitable. The good news is that, in most cases, they will cope just fine in the long run and be able to look back on it as just one more event that made them into the person they are today.
To make the transition easier on them, you should do all you can to provide stability. One way to do that is to try and maintain the presence of important people in their life. Here are some to consider:
1. Their extended family
Maybe you will be glad you never have to spend another Thanksgiving with your mother and father-in-law. That does not mean your child feels the same way. Grandparents are important people for most children, and if they are willing to help by taking the children occasionally, you should take advantage.
2. Their friends
Whether it is your teenager sitting in the park sharing stories about your divorce with her closest girlfriends, or your toddler engaging in his daily game of hide and seek with the next-door neighbor’s kids in the garden, those relationships are important to them. Yes, they will make new friends if you move, but right now, they could do with maintaining them.
3. Their teachers and coaches
Teachers and sports coaches do much more than just stand at the front and teach or coach. Some take on a crucial role, helping your child grow as a person. They become an adult your child can turn to in confidence to discuss things they may find difficult to talk about at home in the middle of a divorce.
It’s unlikely you will be able to preserve all your child’s relationships when you divorce. But bearing their importance in mind can help you make decisions about custody and where to live that ease this difficult time for your children.
