When people get divorced, sometimes they can still communicate respectfully. It can be hard to be reasonable if there was addiction, adultery or waning interest in the marriage on one person’s part. Still, when there are youngsters to be considered, it helps tremendously if both parties can at least remain dignified.
Sadly though, it’s seldom possible when suspiciousness, fury, jealousy or other negative feelings arise. That’s when divorces can get toxic. It’s also when you need to protect yourself, your best interests and your reputation from injury.
Defining a toxic divorce
The word toxic, in this context, means exceptionally nasty. One expert explained a toxic divorce as one in which there is a “constant string of chaos and ill will” spewing from an ex-spouse. Their methods can include threats, besmirching your reputation, stalking, being spiteful and other tactics. They can prolong a divorce for much longer than necessary.
There are solutions
The participation of trustees to deal with marital assets can hasten the process and curb your ex’s behavior. A court-appointed judge might also be able to keep your ex in line and stop their stalling.
Your former spouse may try just about any disruptive maneuver to rile or scare you. That’s why your divorce decree should spell out everything such as alimony and visitation terms in very clear, precise language down to the smallest detail.
Tend to your mental and bodily health
The stress and aggravation of a toxic divorce can be utterly draining. Do things that restore your serenity. Maybe you like sports, hiking, gardening or volunteering. Anything that gets your focus off the clashes with your ex is well worth it.
Have compassionate people surrounding you
As your divorce unfolds with all its ups and downs, those who rally around you can be invaluable. Whether it’s friends to vent to, a therapist to lean on or a professional to advocate for you during the divorce, don’t hesitate to turn to them.