Madison County Legal Issues Blog

Many Illinois parents hesitate to end their marriages because they feel it would adversely affect their children. Their hearts may be in the right place, but remaining in these circumstances could actually do more harm than good. In reality, divorce could actually help the children thrive.

No matter how hard a couple tries, children often figure out that their parents are not getting along. Even younger children can feel tension in the air, and it could have an effect on them. One study of college age students whose parents divorced expressed that they learned a lot from their parents when they were supportive after the divorce.

Parents contemplating divorce often worry about their children. They may have heard stories from both ends of the spectrum: Either children never recover, or children bounce right back. As with most extremes, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. How do children feel during divorce? There is no way to predict their feelings, and each day is different. The only constant is that parents need to present a united front.

A child's emotions may ping-pong dramatically during a week, and even several times during a day. Divorcing parents may see a wide range of emotions until they wonder if their children will finally regain an even keel. They will, but not for some time. Divorce is unsettling for everyone. Adults need to parent up and do the right thing for their children. Mom and dad need to put the boxing gloves down and remain calm at home.

While the number of couples between the ages of 25 and 39 here in Illinois and elsewhere ending their marriages appears to be dropping, the number of people ages 50 and up doing the same thing has risen. Older couples may not have to worry about issues such as child support and custody, but they often wonder how the divorce affects their retirement plans. After spending years, if not decades, making plans for their golden years, this time in their lives can leave them uncertain about the future.

Since older Illinois residents tend to have fewer working years ahead than behind, the amount of time they have to accumulate more wealth and assets is shorter. On the other hand, these individuals can often look forward to receiving more assets in a divorce than their younger counterparts receive. This may provide a greater sense of security, but it also creates a greater urgency to make sure that they receive as much as possible in order to try to build a secure financial future.

In decades past, ending a marriage came with a great deal of stigma, especially for women. As the generations passed and the views of marriage changed, here in Illinois and across the country, so has the way younger couples divorce. With the advent of the digital age, the divorce process continues to undergo changes.

For example, young couples tend to marry older these days. They often already began their careers and accumulated assets. They also view each other more as equals than in generations past. Prenuptial agreements no longer have the same negative connotations they used to for their parents and grandparents. Instead, they take a business-like approach to marriage when it comes to planning for divorce.